3 in the morning with a cup of coffee and a bag of leftover munchkins and browsing, browsing, browsing. Raymi's tumblr, mostly. i'm surrounded by unread books and stuffed kittens, empty bags of Doritos, an iPod, headbands with frilly plastic flowers and beads.

if i were with you, i'd be slugging beer and eating soggy garbage nachos at some random Daytona sports bar. i'd be wearing Mac Brave Red and a skanky top with spaghetti straps. i'd be taking you home. i'd be fucking you.

but

you wanted the pretty girl. of course. so what chance do i have?  no way i'll ever seduce you with my scholarly evisceration of Foucault.

i'm  here surrounded by coffee cups and moldy books wishing to god i didn't have to want any more of you. that i could just look around, feel the peace in my life and be thankful for its wonderful fucking emptiness.